To Lose Ones Self to Lust
by Aneki Okumura
Summary: When Mika takes Yuu away and Yuu offers him blood to keep Mika alive and put an end to his suffering, He never could have anticipated this. But no matter what, Mika will always be family, even if he destroys him. MIKAYUU YAOI TWO-SHOT. WARNING! CONTAINS GRAPHIC NONCON. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! CHAPTER 1 UPDATED!
1. To destroy what you love

**Hello again! It's been far to long! I know I'm supposed to be writing my blue ex/hp xover but I'm sorta stuck on it at the moment to I thought I'd just give it a little break for now and write this until I get my new laptop in a couple of days.**

 **Sorry for shovelling this crap out by the bucket, this is really terrible but eh, it's been a while since I published anything so...sorry.**

 **== Addition ==**

 **I've rewrote the end part of this chap as I finally got to see newer eps of ONS, when I first watched the first 12 episodes I sorta skipped a few (most) of the chapters and arrived at the part where Mika runs off with Yuu and with the way manga and anime typically worked, I assumed this was the part after Yuu transformer the first time in episode 12 because it's really rare the anime stays true to the manga. SO, for this fic lets say when they meet at the airport, the choppers arrive but they do actually take the DA back to Shinjuku.**

 **Also I've corrected a lot of the previous spelling errors as I now have my shiny new laptop (YAY AT LONG LAST!) so any updates as of now will be a lot less painful to read haha, spell checking and proof reading is a nightmare on a tablet so I just gave up most of the time.**

 **== 0 ==**

 **As mentioned above, THIS CONTAINS MIKAYUU GRAPHIC NONCON, amongst other things so you have been warned.**

 **I don't own anything.**

* * *

"Ha! Are you stupid? Drinking a bit of blood won't turn you into a monster," Yuu declared happily. Mika looked up from the shadow of his messy bangs in confusion, dazed and exhausted from the pain of his endless thirst at war with his will not to become the monster he would become. All he could do was reply dumbly.

"...huh?..."

"No matter what you become, we'll always be family." There was so much determination, so much conviction in Yuu's expression as he says those words. He didn't care what he became, Yuu-chan just wanted him to live. Yuu-chan trusted him to drink his life blood without killing him and the unwavering certainty in his smouldering emerald eyes made it hard for the half vampire to disbelieve him. After all this time, Yuu-chan still trusted him, even after he so easily fell into Fenrid's game and got their whole family killed. Yuu-chan trusted him, he cared about him. What was left of Mika's heart tightened as an array of emotions swirled around inside of him and his eyes burned, tears flowing freely. He stared at his family, the agony burning away at his veins which had been torturing him for the past four years becoming far beyond unbearable. He decided this time, he would give into his darkest desire.

For Yuu-chan.

"Y-Yuu-chan..."

"Hmm?"

"I...it hurts... I want to drink blood.." The monster inside Mika stirred it's ugly head, trying to take over but the blond couldn't let it, he couldn't let himself hurt his precious Yuu-chan.

"Sure, c'mon, drink up." Yuu-chan beamed, his arms speared wide, inviting him to drink from him and put and end to his suffering. His sweet Yuu-chan. Of all things, Mika was overwhelmed by the acceptance in his eyes and he lost it. He tackled the black haired teen, tears flowing freely as he embraced HIS Yuu-chan and they tumbled to the ground. Mika nestled his nose into the crook of Yuu's neck, inhaling deeply and letting his sweet smell surround him. He felt his gums sting around his canines tingle as his fangs elongated, ready to pierce flesh and relieve him of his torture.

"Welcome home Mika."

* * *

Yuu gasped as he felt the sting of Mika's fangs sink into his skin and a strange drawing sensation shimmered under his skin as he felt his blood being sucked out. He gripped the golden blond close to him, trying to communicate across that this was ok, whatever happened after now didn't matter, they would always be family no matter what. The closeness was alien but ...intimate for lack of a better word and Yuu felt his cheeks burn. His hand crept up the vampires back and carded into his messy golden locks, pulling him in closer if that was even possible. He felt his body heat with the new sensations but was to lost in the moment to try and process what they meant or be embarrassed about them. Mika's grip around him tightened suddenly and he felt another piercing sting at his neck, this time a little less gentle.

"H-hay, Mika?" He chuckled a little as the drawing sensation became more intense and something slippery probed at the small wounds. "Hay go easy." There was no reply. Mika only made a slight keening sound and his grip became crushing. "H-hay Mika, I think that's en-Uuugh." Mika ignored him and bit him again but there was nothing gentle about the action. "Mika, you're hurting me...Mika stop! Enough!" His words fell on deaf ears as the vampire continued to indulge on him. Yuu nervously started to tug on the blonds hair, trying to throw him off but the blond paid him no heed. "Mika this isn't funny, Stop!" Mika finally released him and sat up, still straddling his hips. He looked down at him with crimson(?) Eyes, hungry and unseeing. "Mik-" his words where cut off as the blond clasped a hand over his mouth in a crushing grip. He automatically reached to fight against him but in one swift movement, Mika caught his wrists with one hand and held them above his head. Yuu froze, panic raising rapidly as he looked up at his family. Mika was staring down at him hungrily, his breath coming in heavy pants and his pink tongue came out from between his lips to lap at the blood that trickled down his chin.

"Yuu-ch..an...my Y-Yuu-chan." With those words he lunged forward and sank his teeth deep into Yuu's throat, tearing at the skin and letting his blood flow freely. Yuu would have screamed if it weren't for the gloved hand blocking the sound from escaping him. He started to thrash and struggle, his head starting to spin and he started to feel faint and the pain from his neck being practically torn open was excruciating.

 _'please stop Mika...you're hurting me'_

The hand clasped around Yuu's mouth disappeared and he was mildly aware of the fabric of his trousers being tugged. Mika lifted his head a few centimetres and lapped at the wounds, making patterns with his tongue on his neck and nipping at his jaw. The change of action confused the human but at this point his vision was whiting out and his heartbeat was pounding in his ears. He momentarily thought Mika was coming back to his senses when he felt a sharp tug and his pants where torn from his body, leaving his lower half completely exposed.

"M-Mika? W-what are y-" The blond was suddenly face to face with him and he crushed his own lips to his. Yuu was so shocked and confused by the action he completely froze for the second time. The blonds warm tongue invaded his mouth, leaving the coppery, tangy taste of his own blood everywhere it touched. In a moment of panic induced self defence, Yuu bit down on the appendage. Mika groaned retracted his tongue, choosing instead to bite down on his bottom lip painfully and suckled at the fresh wound. He pushed his body against the man he straddled and Yuu felt something hard beneath Mika's pants grind against his own groin. He was mortified. Was Mika about to?

Yuu started struggling with a new determination, he was so terrified and his head was spinning so much he couldn't even form words to coax the vampire off him. Mika drew back once again, looking down at Yuu with those hungry eyes. He brought his free hand up to his mouth and suckled on his index and middle finger, Yuu could see him swirling his tongue around them like an ice-pop on a hot summers day.

"Mika please stop! You're hurting me! I trust you Mika but please stop! Take control!" Mika froze his actions for a moment, fingers resting on his slippery appendage and in that instant, his eyes seem to clear, his expression conflicted. "Please! Mika-chan!" Helpless tears gathered at the corners of Yuu's eyes as he called to his family, trying to bring him back from his inner darkness and make him realise that he would kill him if he continued. Yuu wriggled one of his hands out of the vampires iron grip and reached up to his face, caressing his cheek and staring deep into those crimson pools.

"Please"

* * *

Something froze into the frenzied, blood and lust crazed vampires mind. He turned to look at the gentle hand caressing his cheek with the utmost care and brought the hand up to it that was pinning his Yuu-chans other hand above his head. He held the hand in his own and nuzzled Yuu's palm, his sweet cares. Something, a small voice in the very depths of his mind told him this was wrong, he needed to stop or he may rip his precious Yuu-chan apart but it was to distant for him to really care. Yuu tasted so good and Mika felt so good. His pain was good and he was so intoxicated by Yuu-chans life essence, it washed away all reason. The only thing that ran through his head was how he wanted to mark Yuu-chan. Make him HIS. He let out a lustful groan and sank his fangs into the precious vein laying just below Yuu's soft skin and his slicken fingers slipped between their bodies and slid into the small entrance to Yuu's rear.

* * *

Yuu cried out in pain, not just at the sting of fangs in his palm but also at the mortifying sensation of his legs being forced open. Mika readjusted himself so he was laying on top of him with his legs between Yuu's. Even more mortifying was the sensation of slippery fingers being forced into his rear entrance. His vision turned white and he tried to fight blindly but his wrists where pinned down above his head while Mika's other hand raked his body, touching, caressing every part of him. His shirt and coat where ripped open scattering buttons in all directions and Mika planted trains of kisses and bite marks down his chest. The fingers invading his person curled, entered and re-entered him, stretching and tearing him open.

Ple...please...s-stop." Yuu was beyond terrified. His body began to tremble and he felt like he was going into shock. "..Help m-me...please..." he had never felt so helpless in all his life. While his family ravaged and tore his body apart, all he could do was cry and let words that no longer made sense to him tumble from his mouth. The fingers where removed with a sickening squelched and Mika was kissing him again, forcing his lips apart. As he did something of scorching heat and size forced it's way inside of him and he screamed in absolute agony. Mika forced himself all the way inside of him mercilessly. Mika growled audibly, tremors running through his body, each of which sending shocks of pain through the smallers being like nothing he had ever felt before. The intrusion, Mika's manhood to Yuu's terror, slowly retracted only to be thrust back into him with inhuman force. He felt himself tear and he turned his head to the side, unable to hold his stomach content down anymore and it spewed across the ground. Mika was at his neck again, his fangs tearing at his flesh as he settled into a steady pace or withdrawing and thrusting inside of Yuu mercilessly. Surely by now he had hit Yuu's jugular and would rip his insides apart entirely. All the pain, the mortification and the endless spinning in his head and stomach blended together and Yuu's conscious began to leave him as he was raped and drained of his blood. " _am I dying?'_ He thought briefly. His body was shutting down, he could barely feel the pain of Mika stealing away his innocence and life anymore. It was ok, He couldn't blame the blond and he never would, if anything he owed it to him for abandoning him all those years ago. He brought this upon himself but he didn't regret it. In his now fragile and twisted mind he almost felt honoured to be loved so much by his Mika. It wasn't in the vampires nature, he realised Mika was driven by something much deeper however twisted and violent the outpour.

Before the darkness completely took him he turned his head to the blonds pointed ear. gasping weakly as Mika pressed into him so hard he thought he might shatter and faintly feeling a new heat inside of him. Mika groaned in complete bliss. Yuu gathered up the last of his strength and whispered,

 _"I did...this to you, I'm sorry..."_

* * *

Mika groaned in complete bliss as he spilled his essence in the tight confinements of his Yuu-chans now christened passage, making sure to mark him right in his core and making him his. Too absorbed in his bliss he didn't register the words whispered into his ear and collapsed on the now still body of his precious Yuu-chan. The dark desires, now satisfied, that had taken over him seemed to evaporate, like something dark had possessed him and was now being driven out. Mika breathed and blink a couple of times as he came back to his senses and his stomach turned. The smell of blood and something disgusting was thick in the air and he slowly, painfully realised what he had done. Yuu-chan was still beneath him. Mika lifted himself onto all fours, unconsciously pulling himself out of Yuu's rear as he did and he looked down at his most cherished one. Yuu-chans skin was ghostly pail and a sheen of sweat coated his skin, soiled with speckles of blood and the puncture wounds Mika himself had made littered his skin, there where so many of them his entire chest was a mess. His neck was the worst, the skin so ravaged it hung off in bits, blood still oozing out slowly.

The sight didn't even phase Mika, he had fed so deeply the blood didn't even register with him, what did was that if he didn't do something to stop the flow Yuu-chan would die, the only thing indicating he was still alive was the shallow rise and fall of his chest which seemed to get shallower as the seconds crawled by. Mika snapped into action, ripping his cape from his neck and balling it to Yuu-chans neck to try to stop the bleeding. He cupped the side of his delicate, beautiful face and small beads of water splashed on his face. Mika didn't care that he was crying, or speaking. His voice sounded like an alien thing as he called his love's and his family's name over and over again, hopelessly.

He was a monster. Only monsters would violate their loved ones so savagely.

Yuu was against his chest now, he cradled his almost lifeless body to him like a lifeline, rocking back and forwards.

"Y-Yuu-ch...chan...I-I'm...s-so..Sorry...pl...please w-wake...up..."

His words where choked, barely distinguishable even to himself. If he stayed here much longer, Yuu-chan would surely go into shock and he would lose him forever. His family. His Yuu-chan. The most important person in Mikaela's whole existence, he did this to him. He wailed helplessly in despair and gently lay him down. Another pang of self loathing hit him when he stood and looked down upon Yuu's broken body, pools and splatters of blood decorated the floor and a small pool of blood and a thick white fluid gathered under him. He immediately set to work on trying to put Yuu's pants back on but they where ripped beyond repair. He unbuttoned his own pants properly, mortified at the sticky sensation of his manhood which was still poking out of his flyer. He removed them and quickly set to putting them on Yuu, covering him. He removed his jacket and put it on the smaller teen, buttoning it up ever so carefully. He should be the one to bare himself, be humiliated like the monster he was, for he had humiliated and violated his Yuu-chan more than anyone ever deserved. He dried his eyes on the back of his black sleeve, his grief and self disgust beyond tears at this point and he quickly decided he couldn't take Yuu back to the vampire city. He needed medical help and soon..

He would do anything to keep Yuu away from the humans but it quickly became apparent that his life was in far more danger in the vampire city, around him. He was the biggest danger to Yuu-chans life even if he only wanted to protect him.

He bent down and ever so carefully lifted his family's broken body and left the building, running as quickly as his supernatural strength would let him and remembering Yuu's whispered words.

* * *

Sometime after the Vampires had been driven off by her family, Shinoa sat at the hospital waiting room back in Shibuya with a cup of steaming green tea, glad to finally be able to sit and rest. Yoichi, Shinho and Mitsuba sat in silence, probably sharing her thoughts as she reflected on the days battle. They had lost so many today. Shinoa glanced in the direction of Makoto who sat quietly with his remaining team members, clearly morning the loss of their team mates and not wanting to be disturbed. Shinoa sighed, she would have to face them at some point and explain why she has defended Mikaela which resulted in them being caught by the vampires reinforcements. The sergeant swilled he remaining dregs of her tea, staring into it's depths hopelessly. What she wouldn't do to be able to just sleep right now, deal with everything that would come tomorrow with a clear head. Her thoughts turned to Yuu. She was worried about her friend even though she knew she shouldn't as he clearly meant a great deal to the blond haired vampire. It had been hours since they returned from Nagoya Airport. The waiting area doors at the far end of the room from Shinoa burst open and a number of DA soldiers came rushing in, one carrying a limp figure in his arms. The Sergeant and her team stood, wondering who the injured soldier was and trying to get a look at his or her face through the group of DA guards. Shinoa heard an audible gasp from Yoichi sat next to her at the sight of the trail of blood that now marked the floor from the door to the waiting room reception. The receptionist urgently called for assistance and shortly after a number of doctors jogged into the room with a bed and the soldier was laid on it and Shinoa paled as she caught a glimpse of the injured persons face.

"Yuuichiro?!" Shinoa and her squad where by the reception immediately. They tried to follow the doctors through the door out but where quickly blocked by one of the DA guards.

"That's Yuuichiro Hyakuya, He's a member of our platoon. What happened? Where did you find him?" Mitsuba demanded, obediently stepping back instead of trying force her way past the guards. The unfamiliar guard's face was grim.

"We found him in Shinjuku, A...a vampire ...I think... came and left him in Shinjuku just outside of the walls in plain sight. We thought it was some sort of joke but your friend was still wearing some of his DA uniform or we wouldn't have realised he was one of our own. The vampire was alone and left." The guard's brows furrowed in confusion as he spoke. "He's...covered in bite marks, I don't mean to worry you but the bloodsuckers did a real number on him. The vampire who left him wasn't in proper uniform. Does this make much sense to you?" The soldier eyed her in mild suspicion but Shinoa shook her head, now trusting herself to be able to lie efficiently. The guard bowed and left with his platoon and left the MDC squad in utter confusion.

"What could have ha-" Yoichi started only to be shushed by Shinho by pressing his finger to his lips and mouthing the word 'later'. Unsure of what to do, they returned to their seats, trying their best to ignore the questioning stares of the other DM soldiers in the room and waited for further information on what exactly happened to Yuu.

* * *

 **== Addition ==**

 **Yay so now that this makes more sense, I can move onto chapter 2**

 **== 0 ==**

 **Yay, I posted something! Trash but something! Anyways this was intended to be a one-shot but I don't really want to leave it here so there will probably another chapter when I get a new laptop.**

 **Thank you for reading my garbage and hope you all had a fab Christmas and good luck in the new year :D feel free to leave a review and tell me how bad this is and what an awful person I am. ==shamelessly begs for reviews==**


	2. Let me atone for the pain I caused you

**Hi again :) Yay for uploading chapter 2 so soon!**

 **== IMPORTANT ==**

 **So I noticed a lot of problems when I finally got to watch episodes 13 and onwards when i got my new laptop #jumps for joy# and realised how inconsistent the part of the last chapter after the last line break was which I have completely rewritten so you can go back and read it and it actually makes sense. When I first watched the first 12 episodes I sorta skipped a few (most) of the chapters ion the manga and arrived at the part where Mika runs off with Yuu and with the way manga and anime typically worked, I assumed this was the part after Yuu transformer the first time in episode 12 because it's really rare the anime stays true to the manga so I assumed the stories where completely different from that point. SO, for this fic lets say when they meet at the airport, a chopper DOES arrive and takes the DA back to Shibuya.**

 **I don't know what it is but Ferid reminds me a lot of Mephisto just less eccentric so writing Fenrid here was hard without making him like Mephy**

 **Anyways, Thank you so much for reading, following and favouriting! Reviews are my happiness so please leave one and let me know what you thought, good or bad :)**

* * *

Mitsuba sat in the uncomfortable chair in a private room, a patient rapport rested in her lap as it had done every day since the war against the vampires. She studied the words over and over again and the uneasy turn of her stomach never lessened no matter how many times she read it. She didn't even know why she insisted on reading the stupid thing anymore, the words had long since been inscribed into her memory. She even had a perfect memory of the doctor who had spoken to them however many days ago, three hours after Yuu was admitted.

 **10 Days Earlier**

 _"Hi, I'm doctor Hashita, are you Hyakuya Yuuichiro's squad?" A black haired doctor came and addressed the group sitting patiently. They stood to attention and quickly surrounded the grim doctor._

 _"We are, I'm the squad leader Higari Shinoa." Shinoa quickly introduced herself, bowing her head quickly. The doctor nodded._

 _"Mr Hyakuya's guardian Lieutenant Colonel Guren asked me to speak to yourselves. Yuuichiro is in stable condition so you will be able to go and see him but before I do that I think it best I, well, prepare you. the attack was anything but normal." The doctor took a slow breath, clearly uncomfortable with the news he had to deliver as steady and professional as his words where. The DA platoon all exchanged uneasy glances as Doctor Hashita lifted the clipboard he had been holding at his side and cleared his throat. "My Hyakuya Yuuichiro sustained severe internal organ tissue damage from overdosing on enhancement pills, It's a surprise he is even still alive at this point but we did perform surgery to repair the majority of the damage and his organs seem to be responding well to it. Since then he has sustained multiple bite wounds to his neck and chest area and has lost a severe amount of blood loss through a vampire attack. His left wrist has been fractured and there was various bruising to his neck and jaw area which we can only describe as a bite where the attacker had no intention of breaking the skin. The transfusion was a success and as I mentioned before, Yuuichiro is in stable condition but it looks like he has fallen into a comatose state as a result of the seizures. We can't say when he will wake up." The doctor looked at the faces of the adolescents looking at him, shock and horror reflected in each of their faces. nobody said anything as his words sunk in. "This is the first case of an attack of this nature myself and any of my colleges have ever see before. From our examination, the size and distance between each canine incision indicate that this was by the same vampire. There is something else you should know," The doctor dropped his gaze to the floor, disgust breaking through his professional demeanor. "I don't really want to disclose this information as the situation is bad enough but there was also bite marks to his lips and clear signs of rectal bleeding and injury and a possibility of internal lacerations..." The doctor trailed off and fell into silence._

 _"W-What does that mean? Tell us what that means!" Yoichi pled, his shaking hands balded into fists at his sides._

 _"Yuu was sexually assaulted," Kimizuki said through clenched teeth, quietly enough so that nobody beyond the group would hear. Mitsuba put a hand over her mouth to stop a cry of distress escaping her and overwhelming disgust and hatred overtook her. She wanted to kill, take Tenjiryu into Harajuku and slaughter as many vampires as she could, seen out the vampire responsible for hurting her family in such a vile, twisted way. 'Why would anyone want to do this? Why would someone want to hurt Yuu like this?' The questions that quickly arose in her head died when she distantly heard the doctor say he would take them to Yuu's room. snapping out of her internal spiral she trotted after the doctor past the reception._

* * *

Mitsuba Clasped the clipboard tightly to her chest, since then everyone had visited Yuu daily and took turns watching over him and assisting with his care. At the moment the Sleeping teen was laying on his back, sheets covering him from the waist down while his entire torso was bandaged up, covering the horrible wounds Mitsuba had nearly vomited at the sight of when it was her first turn to change Yuu's dressings. Thicker dressing was still covering the left side of his neck when it looked like someone had literally tried to tear the skin away with their teeth. Various drips fed into his arms and monitors where attached to his fingers and temples, monitoring his ravaged body's every move for any irregularities. His skin was pasty white and waxen and deep bags where present under his eyes, proof of his struggle to live. He looked exactly the same as he had the first time they had seen him only the number of monitors and dressings had dwindled considerably which was a good sigh but the image of Yuu in an almost death like sleep never became any less unsettling.

"Yuu, please wake up. We need to know you're ok," Sango's words came out chocked. Ever since they had first seen Yuu, all sorts of questions had came to mind. After what he went through, Would he be the same Yuu they all new? What kind of impact would an ordeal like that have on a person? Would Yuu even wake up with his memories intact? What if he woke up and didn't remember any of them? Who had done this to him?The questions where endless. The last question had been an especially touchy subject. Dr. Hashita had said it looked like it was a single vampire who had attacked him, was that one person Mikaela? How could it be? He was Yuu's family. If not then what had he been doing while Yuu was being attacked? Did he just stand by or was he attacked as well or even killed by one of his own for association with Yuu?

"Nnnngh..." Sangu gasped as she was promptly pulled from her thoughts and the room came back into focus at the sound of a sharp gasp. Mitsuba immediately looked over to the bed next to her and her heart jumped as she saw Yuu's eye lids slowly flutter open.

"Yuu?" She rasped, leaning over and grabbing the hand that didn't have dressing on it and grasping it tightly. She didn't know what to say, this wasn't like last time when they where waiting or him to wake up, last time they more or less knew he would be ok but this was something completely different. "Y-Yuu, you're awake." The stirring teen opened his eyes and blinked against the light that shone down from above and moved his previously injured hand to shield his eyes from what must have been a blinding light. "It's me, Mitsuba. Y-you're okay Yuu, You're back home, You're safe," She tried to soothe, hating this uncertainty she felt. She tried to reassure him it was okay by giving his hand a gentle squeeze and observed him cautiously, wondering if it might be a good idea to call for assistance. Yuu blinked a couple of times slowly, trying to adjust to the light above. He inhaled sharply, parting his lips and making a noise of distress. "Yuu, Does something hurt?" Yuu froze as if her words had triggered something. He stared at his bandaged hand, slowly turning the limb around so he could look at his palm, eyes wide. His hand started to shake and his face twisted in horror and shock.

"Mika..." His voice was horse from a lack of use in his long sleep. "Mika..."

"Yuu, it's okay,"

"MIKA!" Yuu's high pitched shriek made the blonde almost jump out of her skin. He sat up alarmingly quickly and tried to push himself against the headboard of the bed, pupils darting around the room in freight. He stopped for a second, gasping and hunching over clutching his stomach and dry heaved.

"Yuu it's okay! Please calm down! I'm calling for assistance." Sangu immediately grabbed at the wire hanging at this side of the bed, her hands shaking as she searched for the little button that would alert the front desk.

"Mika?... Where is Mika?..." Yuu's panic stricken voice got more and more pitched with each word. Tears gathered in the anguished boys eyes and his hands found the drops fed into his arms.

"Y-Yuu no! Please calm down!" Mitsuba tried to make a grab for Yuu's hand from ripping the needles out of his arms but as soon as her fingers touched him, he froze, fear in his eyes and he made a wild swipe for her, knocking her hands out of the way and tipping one of the stands holding a drip bag up. She stumbled backwards, landing on her butt. Yuu cried out, repeating the blonde vampires name over and over again in anguish, pulling the drips from his arms before doubling over and spluttering blood on the mattress, hunching over and trembling. The door slammed open and three doctors rush in, stopping only to take in the sight of Yuu, dry heaving as blood slowly dripped from his lips and Mitsuba sitting on the floor looking helpless. The doctors moved quickly. Two of them approached Yuu quickly, grabbing one of his upper arms each while the third approached, taking a syringe out of its wrapped and pushing the plunger a millimetre. Yuu instantly tried to shrug out of their grasp, deaf to their calls of his name and their demands for him to calm down.

"G-get -hack- off me... don't touch me!" He seized his efforts to throw them off, curling in on himself and breathing heavily, his entire form shivering. The third doctor nodded to one of the doctors holding the confused anxious boy and embedded the syringe in Yuu's arm, emptying it's contents and then removing it. The doctors restraining him kept their hold as Yuuichiro's whole body slowly sagged into their grip, all the while desperately uttering that name over again. Mitsuba sat silently as she watched the whole ordeal, her whole body trembling, unable to do anything. Yuu was unconscious within seconds of the sedative hitting his system and the doctors set to work on laying him down again, replacing the drip needles and monitors and checking for any signs if injury.

"Here," One of them turned to the distraught girl offering a hand which she took, allowing herself to be pulled up to her feet. "We'll take it from here, please go and sit in the waiting area." Mitsuba nodded after glancing at Yuu who's breathing had evened out in sleep and she slowly backed out of the room. She got to the waiting area, her hands still shaking and found Shinoa at the reception desk. The lavender haired sergeant spotted her instantly and made to wave but the greeting died in her throat when she gave her a once over.

"What happened?" She demanded, grabbing her shoulders and urging her towards the nearest chair.

"Y-Yuu's aw- awake, H-he freaked o-out...T-they h-had t-to seda-date him," she sobbed, fisting her eyes in a futile effort to dry them. Shinoa's brows furrowed in worry and she gave the blonde's arms a squeeze.

"You stay here, I'll go and get Shiho, Yoichi and Guren." Without a word, Shinoa bolted from the room.

* * *

 **10 days earlier**

Mika returned to Sanguinem after leaving Yuu in sight of the humans stronghold. He barely even noticed he was there when he found himself slowing to a brisk walk through the ruined streets of the city to Krul's mansion. Eventually he came to the main steps and he stopped, looking up at the grand architecture he so despised. He tried to block out the image of his Yuu-chan, torn apart by his own fangs, he needed to keep it together until he could get back to his room, his own personal quarters where no-one would hear him and he could fall into his own personal despair of self loathing. He raced up the stone stair way, ignoring the calls of other vampires as he went and sped to the seventh floor and along the familiar corridors until he came to his own room. He all but pulled the door off its hinges and slammed it behind him. Now he was here he didn't know what to do. His eyes darted around the room and fell on the en suite to the right and he paced to it, ripping his clothes off like they where paper and stepped into the shower, turning the water to is highest and standing under the flow, fists against the tiled wall as he panted heavily. the water cleansed him, purging him of Yuu's blood and the water beneath him swirled with streaks of red, the smell hitting him but he didn't even bat an eye lid. The pain was gone, he hadn't noticed before but the torture that had constantly plagued his body like acid coursing through his veins was gone and it only pushed him further into dismay. He sank down to his knees, adjusting himself so he was sitting under the scalding water and brought his knees up to his chin and digging his chin into them. His tears flowed freely and mixed with the spray and he howled in endless misery until his voice gave out, unable to hold it in anymore.

Some time later, hours, possibly even days, Mika emerged from the shower, his skin a dark, burnt reddish colour from sitting under the scorching shower for so long and caught sight of himself in the mirror. He took a second to observe himself, watching as the scold marks faded, his skin healing itself almost instantly and he reluctantly met his own maroon eyes. His Irises practically glowed in the dim light from the light fittings above but even he could see the hollowness, the emptiness within them. It was like he had died inside, any traces of himself long gone and now he was just an empty shell. a monster. _just another disgusting, ugly, hideous vampire._

He walked into his room, heading to the large wardrobe and pulled out a new pair of white pants and a black shirt when there was a knock on the door and the visitor let himself in.

"Why know when you're not even going to wait for a reply?" Mika said still buttoning his shirt as Ferid walked in extravagantly, his cape fluttering around him. The Noble grinned widely, that insidious glint in his eyes especially noticeable and the expression on his face one of enjoyment.

"Now now Mika, no need to be rude.-"

"Who's being rude?" Mika shot the vampire the dirtiest look he could, not even caring what came of it. Ferid's expression turned to mock hurt and he brought a hand up to wipe his brow theatrically.

"And I only came here to see if our poor Mikaela was doing after his first taste of human blood. The hallway reeks of virgin blood all the way back to the entrance." Mika bared his teeth in loathing, barely containing a growl. "The first feed is always the sweetest but also the most tragic." Mika's brows furrowed in confusion but he knew he didn't have to ask what the Noble meant. "Did nobody tell you?" Ferid's eyes flashed and his devious smile was back in place. "The first feed is almost impossible to control, it is simply unheard of for livestock to survive any new vampires attac-"

" _Why didn't you tell me?!"_ Mika's hands had found Ferid's collar and he pulled the taller down to his eye level. Had he...had he have known he would have bit the bullet and resisted, ran away from Yuu before being pulled into his honest conviction that everything would be okay. Ferid snickered, infuriating the blond even more.

"You are not my ward. Did our queen Krul not offer you livestock when she very first turned you somewhere private? It's an established practice, a tradition even, that a Noble gives their sire their first meal in private and cleans...what's left after them. A 'passing of the torch' if you will. Even after all these years of fighting your very nature I _hoped_ you could fight it out for just long enough to rescue your princess. _Tragic."_ Ferid sniffed, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye and Mika dropped him. He span and grabbed for his sword which he had dropped on the floor when he entered and lunged it into the bastards chest. He wanted to kill the filthy vampire more than he ever had, he had never wanted to kill someone so much in his life. Ferid didn't move, he merely frowned down at the sword skewering his chest."

"You knew," Mika accused, baring his teeth, directing all his animosity at the Noble who stared him down with an air of triumph.

"I presumed, of course I wanted to see how it all played out, you should know by now I like my little games." Mika withdrew the sword and tried to stab him again, this time without missing his mark but in a movement even his eyes couldn't follow, Ferid knocked the sword out of his hand and shoved him down to the floor by the back of his neck, holding him there. "I'd say I would kill you if you keep attacking me but I bet that's what you want after what you did, no vampire I know has ever stooped to your level." There was the faintest trace of disgust in his voice and it made Mika sink even further, even this vampire thought he was filth. The hand that was holding him face down on the floor was replaced by a foot and he continued trying to fight it. "There is a reason vampires don't drink directly from livestock and why we kill when we drink. We can feel the life force if the veins we drink from and it becomes awfully annoying, feeling their fragile little emotions for a month or two." Mika felt the form above him bend down and he felt Ferid's breath rustle his hair. "i know you didn't kill him, at least you will know if he lives or not. Don't go giving up yet, You may still be able to rescue your princess if he lives." With those words, Ferid straightened and Mika watched him walk away and leave, closing the door quietly as he left.

Just when Mika was ready to give up on wishfully thinking Yuu had survived, The blonde was abruptly awoken from an uneasy sleep days later to a strong sense of panic and fear like a presence, he could almost hear someone screaming in his head. ' _Yuu...'_

* * *

Yuu lay in his hospital bed, staring at the white celling above without really seeing it. He woke up with a pounding headache and everything hurt _so damn much._ The pain was a good detraction though. Pain was good. Pain reminded him that he wasn't completely empty, An empty shell that just...was. He didn't know how much time had passed since he had woken up after a drug induced sleep but he didn't care. People, faces he recognised came and went, looking at him with such concern like he may break with just a look but their concern was wasted, either he was already was completely broken or there wasn't anything left inside of him to break. He just laid there like a dead thing. Small thoughts flitted across his mind aimlessly, thoughts of how he should probably say something, acknowledge someone and tell them that he was okay. He wasn't but that was what you where supposed to do wasn't it?

Those flimsy thoughts never held for long because his mind was so consumed with regret for what he had done to his last family member. Somewhere out there Mikaela was probably tearing himself apart inside because of what Yuu had made him done. He couldn't hate him, he couldn't hold Mika responsible for what he had done. This was all His own fault and Mika was the one paying the price. His injuries would heal and he would live on but Mika would hold onto his regret forever, the context far more literal now he was a true vampire. If Yuu hadn't forced him to drink his blood Mika and just returned here, Mika probably would have gone back with the vampires and gotten blood from the vampires livestock, it was a horrible and he was disgusted in himself for even thinking it but he could probably convince Mika it was okay if it kept him alive and when he had more control he would offer himself, it was the least he could do for having abandoned him to save his own deplorable existence. He needed to find him, force him believe it wasn't his fault and that the whole turn of events was entirely his own fault. Not now, He could barely move without sharp pains wrecking his entire body, again his own fault. His own stupidity at swallowing two more enhancement pills in his desperation to save Guren.

"Yuu?" The unsettled voice of Shinoa caught his attention and pulled him out of his thoughts. The room had been quiet for some time now, only disturbed by the occasional mutter of his name or shuffle of clothing or footsteps breaking the silence. Only now did he realise that the room was in total darkness, the only light being from a lamp sitting on a cabinet next to him. "Y-Yuu? please answer. We're all here for you, just.. please... answer me..." Shinoa's voice broke and the sadness in her voice made his heart twinge with guilt.

"I'm...okay, S-sorry for the trouble," His voice was low and brittle and his parched throat and chapped lips ached with even the light use. Shinoa's hold on his hand which he hadn't even noticed until now tightened.

"Yuu! Yuu I'm so so sorry. This is all my fault. I let M-Mika take you away. Who did this to you? What happened?" Her words came one after the other in a stuttering mess and he tried to sit up, guilt really setting in. "Don't move! You'll strain yourself," not waiting to see if he got up or not, She lightly pushed him back down.

"I need to find Mika," He said, unable to resist and looked at the wall away from her, lifting an arm to cover his face in shame. "This is a-all m...my.." His eyes began to burn and he didn't try to fight the tears of absolute dejection that swallowed him hole.

"This is not your fault, you can't blame yourself for whatever he di-" Shinoa's voice was rising, an undertone of anger and frustration creeping into her words. "Whatever he said..."

"It's not...I... You don't understand. I..." Yuu struggled to get the words out, he trusted Shinoa and believed he could trust Shinoa but his head was far to bad a state of disarray for him to explain and he was far to worn to hold a conversation for much longer. "I'll explain it another time... I'm tired..." He blinked slowly, forcing a small reassuring smile at the sergeant and carefully reached for the glass of water by his bed, leaning up slightly with Shinoa's help and taking a sip, breathing a sigh of relief as the cool liquid eased his parched throat. Shinoa was obviously trying hard not to press the subject but she sighed.

"Allright, at least the others will be happy to know you're okay. Take it easy." She stood to leave and Yuu felt the pull of sleep lapping against the edges of his conciousness.

"What? No sarcastic comment?" He whispered tauntingly. Shinoa froze by the door.

"I'm saving them for when you're better, you're no fun when you're docile and don't get worked up," She turned and Yuu could have sworn he saw the twinkle of tears at the corner of her eyes as she smiled warmly. "So don't keep me waiting too long." With that she left closing the door quietly behind her leaving the dazed teen in peace.

* * *

Days past in a foggy haze of visitors, consultations and pitying stares that would have driven him to lash out if it weren't for the almost constant stream of horse tranquillizer-strength pain meds, antibiotics and some suspicious little unlabelled pills the doctor's what he suspected to be antidepressants which left him on a constant high day in day out. He sat in the early morning hours propped up against a stack of pillows trying to focus on the words in a book Yoichi had left him for something to do while he was kept here much against his will. They had taken away the drips and he had started eating actual, if only liquid, foods the previous evening and they had removed the monitors giving him a little more freedom to move and actually get comfortable but being more alert quickly brought a stubborn boredom that he couldn't shake when he was alert enough to emerge from his inner spiral of regret and self pity. At this particular moment he was frustrated, he wanted to get up and move about, even if it was just to take a walk around the hospital premise and stretch his legs but the moment his feet touched the floor for anything other than an escorted bathroom break he had a line of angry family, doctors and nurses growling at him no matter what time it was. For that reason he had to try and keep his mind occupied with the comedy fiction novel his team mate had brought him out of sympathy. He tossed the book on the cabinet next to him in agitation after reading the same paragraph for the something-teenth time without a single work sinking in and kneaded his eyes. A gentle gust of wind blew in from the window and he breathed in deeply, the cold air reminding him even more of how much he hated being stuck in this stuffy room with nothing but his own thoughts to keep him company at 3am. _'Wait, Didn't Shiho close the window before he left hours ago?"_ He looked around in confusion but shrugged it off and settled for staring at the window, _"Stupid pain killers making me forger shit now aswell?"_ He groaned in unrest and tried to sleep but he felt like someone was watching him, more than usual anyway. Giving the room a once over again he spotted a shadowy figure behind the cabinet on the other side of the room by the door.

"I know it's late but you could knock instead of sneaking in and spying on me, I thought it was established a while ago I'm not going to try to kill myself or something stupid," He grumbled, assuming it was another doctor coming to make sure he wasn't doing cartwheels or trying to jump out of the window. The figure didn't reply, they just stood still, the room to dark for Yuu to make out any distinguishing features apart from the fact that the person was wearing all black. "Well if you're not going to say anything then you can go, I'm trying to sleep." still no answer. He gave them a disproving grunt and lay in bed facing the wall, covering his head with the blanket. He listened for several minutes but the door didn't open, there was no sounds of footsteps of even the rustle of clothing and it began to annoy the recovering teen when a thought came to his head. "Wait, how long have you been here? Is there someone here every night watching me? This is ridiculous!" Yuu gave an annoyed groan and sat back up, wincing and losing his breath as he sat up far to quickly and sharp, stabbing pains shot through his stomach. He coughed, furious with himself for being TO careless, the doctors would bite is head off for this.

"Yuu!"

Yuu froze at the call of his name, trying desperately to control his coughing fit and look up, blinking to clear the white dots dancing across his vision. The figure had finally stepped out of the shadow and there stood Mika, bent over him and reaching out to him, overwhelming concern etched into his perfect features. Once he managed to take a steadying breath he froze, slowly leaning towards the figure, reaching out to him, needing to touch him to make sure it wasn't another hallucination.

"Mika? I-Is that really y-you?" He rasped, being inches away from touching the vampire when he retreated back to the window and started to clumsily climb out. "Mika please don't go!" He practically cried, "Please don't leave!" The vampire froze, concealing his face in his hair. "Please! Is it really you?" The figure stayed perfectly still and unmoving but eventually nodded slowly. Yuu nearly dissolved into hysterics at the small motion, "M-Mika! Mika I-I...I'm so sorr-"

"Don't." The blondes voice was low and brisk, almost angry.

"Mika! Everything that happened...Everything is my fault! I... It's not your fault..." Yuu trailed off, his past few days of inner torment hitting him from all angles in a crushing blow and he fumbled around and tried to stand, to reach out to Mika, panic rising quickly at the thought of him leaving again. "Please, stay!" The vampire finally looked up and immediately closed the window.

* * *

Mika could practically smell how frail Yuu was in his current state. Everything he had felt, Mika had felt aswell over the past couple of days and he had found himself sneaking into the Shinjuku wearing the Demon Army's uniform which he had taken from one of the dead humans in Nagoya and sneaking into this room. Yuu was pail and his eyes where misty from whatever drug they had forced him to take. He didn't have any words, sorry was mere dust to the wind for what he had done and he didn't think he knew words to describe how much he hated himself or for how devastating it was to know how Yuu blamed himself. He couldn't even look the sick boy in the eye.

"This is-"

"Stop."

"No, It's all m-"

"Don't."

"Please Mika, I-m s-"

"Yuu stop!" Mika ground his teeth in an attempt to stop the tears that threatened to fall, finally turning to face Yuu but keeping his eyes firmly fixed to the floor. "Just... stop. This was...I hurt..." Something came rushing at his hair and he caught the book Yuu had thrown at him, eyes widening in shock at the action.

"This is so like you! Blaming yourself for everything. Every tiny little thing! And I knew you where! I knew you wher-are hurting! Blaming yourself for everything when I forced you to..." Yuu swallowed, his voice breaking. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry... It hurts because all you have done since I abandoned you is hurt while I lived here sheltered from everything while you where starving and hurting for four years..." Yuu's words broke into sobs and he sobbed into his hands. "Even after I abandoned you you still only tried to protect me! Everything I do just ends up hurting others and I keep doing it and doing it..I keep...I'm sorr..." Mika was at a los, feeling his own grief and Yuu's at the same time was to much to bare. He crossed the distance between them and knelt down in front of Yuu and circled his hands around his wrists, gently prying his hands away from his face and meeting his watery eyes.

"I know," He whispered, bringing Yuu's hands to his face and resting his cheeks against them. "I felt it. I felt everything you felt because I drank your blood. You where trying to save me and I nearly... I _Tried_ to ki..." Mika didn't get to finish his sentence. Yuu pulled his hands out of his grasp and surged forwards, embracing the blonde in a tight embrace and he fell backwards, landing on his back on the floor with a dull thud, Yuu laying on top of him. He started coughing and hacking and Mika could smell blood, heard a small splatter on the floor over his shoulder. "Yuu!" Mika tried to sit up and lift the trembling form above him but he held on tight.

"Just...don't leave me again.. please, I...I can't l-lose you again, ever. you're still Mika...You'll always be Mika..."

"How can you still think that? I... I did the worst... I'm such a monster..." Mika couldn't find the words, giving up on trying to convince Yuu that it wasn't his fault and just laid there, reaching his arms around the smaller and entwining his arms around him as tightly as he dared. They where there for a long time, the shadows creeping several centimetres across the floor before Yuu's sobs seized and he adjusted himself so he was resting on his elbows above the vampire, forehead to forehead.

"I'll come with you," He finally said, barely loud enough for even Mika to hear.

"What?"

"I'll come with you. We'll run away. From here and the vampires. I'll go wherever you want me to go, Just don't leave me." Mika was shocked. Yuu finally opened his eyes, emerald eyes boring into scarlet, his stare so intense it felt like Yuu could see right through him. "It's only fair, you sacrificed everything for me, It's the least I can do, I'll share some of your pain," The black haired teen leaned in and his dry lips met Mika's, his hands tugging at the stolen DA uniform urgently. Shock wasn't a strong enough word to describe his internal reaction at the sudden assault on his lips, his brain was barely keeping up with Yuu's words, words he longed to hear let alone this. The kiss was determined and demanding and Mika's instinct was to push him away from fear of losing himself again but he slowly relaxed into it, losing his breath. Yuu smelt so sweet and he could taste traces of his blood, it was delicious and delicate, something to be cherished but it didn't send him into a frenzy. it only made him cling to the smaller even more desperately. His hands tangling in hair that stuck up in all directions no matter how much he tried to tidy it. He parted his lips, allowing their tongues to tangle when it all came to a sudden, petrifying stop. Yuu bit down on his tongue painfully and suckled it, Clamping own on it with his lips and sucking in the blood he drew. Mika was oblivious to what he was doing until he let out a strangled cry and released him. Mika's eyes snapped open.

"No!" Yuu rolled off him, shuddering and curling into a fetal position and screamed. Mika was on his knees over the agonised teen, his stomach in knots. "Y-Yuu, What have you done?" Mika's supernatural hearing picked up on the approaching sounds of hurried footsteps over Yuu's screams, If they found them both here like this, they would surely be killed. ' _Damn you Yuu...'_ His instincts finally kicked in and he swept Yuu into a princess carry and jumped out the window, only stopping to take a blood pack out of the locked mini fridge sitting on top of the cabinet and leaving the room and the human world behind.

* * *

 **Yay I posted this within a reasonable amount of time! Omg it's amazing having a laptop again! I've been listening to Super Juniors "Evanesce" (I can't watch the video because it makes me cry an the words are so sad!) on repeat for days because it's been stuck in my head so this chapter came out far more angsty that I intended it to haha.**

 **Anyways, So I said this was going to be a two shot? hehe... so I may be writing a 3rd chapter 10 years in the future... idk I was writing and I just kept getting idea after idea after idea and I ended up writing a description for another chapter to give this a somewhat fluffy, hopefully bitter sweet ending so I'm probably going to be writing and posting that at some point next week or maybe over the weekend if I have time. I'm actually starting on chapter 2 of HOADHOAD's sequel as well so chapter 1 will be up real soon! I just need to proof read it because I wrote most of it while I was still on**

 **Hope you enjoyed and PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW! Reviews are my happiness and keep me motivated! Reviews get more/faster updates! Tell me if there where things you liked in the chap and if there are particular things I need to work on then let me know and I will for future chapters, I've got a hell of a lot better since I first started writing but there's acres of room for improvement XD**

 **Thanks for reading. x Aneki x**


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